June 13th, 2014 4:13pm
Random thoughts jump at me during random times…of the day, week, and month. It’s like a presentation but I have no idea who it is presenting itself to. Anyways, yesterday I was fine it was indeed hands down all around a splendid day. I wake up today with thoughts to take my life because I’ve screwed up several relationships, burned several bridges in the past that I cannot undo or change. Part of me cannot get over it and I know I have to but I just cannot. I know when I do take my life whenever my mind is ready to handle it, it will be a very sad day very very sad day down here on Earth. And I want all those people who hurt me in the past to suffer a great deals length. Just like I did for x amount of years. The ones that did not accept me for who I was and my flaws, the ones who rejected me , denied me, and the list goes on. I am sad. I am hurt. I am hopeless. I am fat. I know that has nothing to do with the first three but as Sesame Street taught me ” one of these things are not like the other.” That is how I feel when my back is up against the world. What do I do next? I have no idea.But for now, I will craft up another plan, write my letters, well in advance, and BOOM! leading up to it on that day I will be gone forever from this world just like that in a blink of an eye. And I won’t have to finish what was so hard to start back up again…and everyone will laugh like I never once existed.