I Promise, I Will Not Commit Suicide.

July 22, 2014  11:35 AM

I am lost
In this melancholy
Shriveled up World.
I cannot do anything
But let my soul
Weave in and out
Of banal consciousness.

I’ve come to the core
Of this valuable Earth
To realize
I, too, have a
Miraculous
Enchanting
Purpose
To walk this
Green apple Earth
Just like everyone else.

For this
I have to say
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to only surround myself with positive and insightful people.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to not let myself or anyone else tell me that I am not worth living.
I promise I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to let people in and allow them to tell me I am loved and amazing.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to convince myself that others will miss my presence.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, there will be a time when things will get better and I will be so glad I decided to keep on living.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to let the good times roll and enjoy the little things in life.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to be patient and wait for the day I will meet that special someone who is created to sweep me off my feet.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to prove people wrong; prove the ones who doubted me of my success and purpose.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to not fight the days when my mental illness tries to consume my mind, body, and soul; I will not let it bring me down into a deep despair to lose meaning in my life.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to embrace my mental illness and embrace the unique person I am.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to achieve my goals and dreams  in hopes to one day touch the lives of others who are struggling out there like me.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to believe when others tell me “I love you”.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to be open and reach out to loved ones during the darkest, loneliest moments in my life.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to let others in and not seclude myself from reality.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to accept my mental illness and to not question it, but most certainly not blame it for why I act and behave the way I do.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to believe that there are people out there who are genuinely willing to get to know the real me.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to share my story in hopes to help others who are struggling silently to overcome their battle with mental illness.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to convince myself there are people out there who rely and need me in their life in order to survive.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I promise, to not hurt my family, friends, and loved ones.
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

I am now at ease;
I am now at peace;
I can finally see
The power to cease
The troublesome beliefs
That I, too,
Have a unique reason
To eat,
Breathe,
And to live all the way
To eternity;
I promise, I will not commit suicide.

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29 thoughts on “I Promise, I Will Not Commit Suicide.”

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words. Unfortunately, I am not a writer by profession, just an engineering student. I do want to write and publish a book one day it is on my bucket list. Thanks for the encouragement! -Phoenix

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  1. You are at the beginning of your journey. I know that right now it seems just too long – but it really isn’t. We have such a short time here – we may as well experience all that we can. Do not let your mental illness define who you are – ever. When “it” tells you something…do the opposite – it is ok to accept it – but it never means you must give in to it. You are stronger than you could ever imagine and you are already serving a great purpose.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your comment made my day even brighter. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post and provide me with great words of encouragement You are so right I will not let it define me! Thanks for your support -Phoenix

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  2. This poem is much more beautiful to me than anything else you could have written. I hope you grow into the affirmations of life you’ve just made and that you continue valiantly to fight the good fight against your depression. I hope you will learn to love yourself at all times, regardless of what people do or say around you.

    Thank you for writing this poem and for reaffirming to yourself, over and over again and you will not commit suicide..Be good to yourself.

    Blessings,
    Theresa

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I, too, promise that I will not commit suicide. But my reason is different from yours: my body has rights over me. I can’t treat it however I want. Life is sacred. The realization that I’ll be held accountable for my deeds on the Last Day is what stops me from committing such a grave sin.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for stopping by my blog and liking my post. Please remember that your mental illness LIES TO YOU and distorts the truth. That is the single biggest insight that helped me to recover from years of deep depression. Cyber-hugs to you.

    Oh, and we are all witness to your promise! I remember when I made mine, and I am SO glad I honored it. My life today is nothing like it was back then. There is great hope for a really happy and satisfying life.
    Gerry

    Liked by 1 person

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