The 7 Letter Word That Scares The Living Daylights Out of Humans.

September 27, 2014  11:38 PM

Having thoughts of suicide is an under-statement.
Having the urge to take my life is an over-statement.
Telling others that I am suicidal is a selfish-statement.
I am suicidal, this is the accurate-statement.

If I cannot be honest you, then why should I be honest with me?
Here I am sitting in a dark corner
Hovering my life into one quiet shell.
The only light shining in the midst of the room
Is the glow from my cold heart.
Slowing frosting over the blemishes
I want to leave behind due to my depressive manic episodes.

I wrap my life-less hands around my circular body
In hopes to suffocate the inner life
Pumping through my fragile veins.
I touch the scars, the left behind marks
Of the single headed darts which you threw
At my mistakes,
My illness,
My mishaps,
My episodes,
My sensitivity,
My inner shyness,
And
My devoted love for you.

I stand up to rejection
I stand up to instability
I stand up to fear
But, for some odd reason
I just cannot seem to stand up for me.

This world is swallowing my flesh piece by piece.
Inch by inch
Life by life.
I am suicidal, this is my statement.
I’ve lost my battle
I’ve lost the fight
I’m in a constant struggle with thoughts, feelings, and everything in sight
And all I want to do is take action.

Suicide is not so taboo to me anymore
Suicide is my buggaboo who keeps me warm at night.
Yes, I dressed it as a person
I even dressed it up as my lover.
Bear with me and my rapid thoughts
As I shed the true defining light upon
The seven letter that scares the living daylights out of humans:
Suicide.

There Is Still Time!!!

Hello Phoenix Followers!

I am looking to take my mental health awareness advocacy to the next level in hopes to raise awareness not only locally, but internationally. To do so, I would like to mail out ~50 Phoenix Encouragement Cards to my followers to show my love, care, and support during your recovery and mental health journey. There is still time to sign up for a letter from me all the way from the US!

Send me an email at phoenixtherebirth042013@gmail.com with the following:

Name & Address
Short bio about yourself (interest, career, favorite color/song etc. almost anything!)
150-250 words about your mental health story and/or diagnosis (Whatever you are comfortable sharing with me)
Included with the card you will also receive a custom-made wristband bracelet I designed that says: “URLOVED. Speak UP. Speak Out. Save a life” that you can wear to remind yourself that you are always loved.

My goal is to have the letters mailed out by Mid-November. The last day to submit the information above is Friday October 3rd, 2014. If you have any questions about the cards please feel free to contact me directly.

It is my passion to help others and I know there are some out there who do not have a strong support network during difficult times. The purpose of these personalized cards is to give you an extra source of support and encouragement you can always look at during your relapses or downfalls.

Thank you all for your support & I cannot wait to mail out Phoenix Encouragement Cards!

Much love,

Phoenix

Raise mental health awareness. Stop the stigma. Save a life.