Tag Archives: shadow

Home, At Last.

August 23, 2014  6:48 PM

Jumping the broom;
Entering a new segment.
Lifting my mind, body, and soul across the current threshold.
Leaving all my worries, doubts, and pain behind,
Putting my solicitous meager heart on the line.
Forgetting all the consequences that may come my merry way,
Still needing to say, “Where is my place in this illustrious World?”
Can I please just take a minute to hurl?
Stopping to take a second to reflect on the World;
And thanking the ones who brought me through the whirlwind.
Who stopped my head from continuously spinning
And put a halt to my inner madness.
I am glad the sunshine appeared through my darkness
And washed the rain away from my pale eyes.
To scatter the pain into the deep blue thin air
And watch as the rainbow shine in the midst of my silhouette shadow.
To feel the cool sea breeze brush against my winter face
I can feel my surrounding oasis embrace;
Tugging and hugging and reeling me in.
I love this feeling;
I adore this feeling.
I will abide by this feeling;
This sentiment is equivalent to home.
I am home, at last.

Walking in Her Shadow

July 8th, 2014  4:38 AM

I am walking in her shadow.
Trotting in her place.
O, the things I would do just to see her face.
To be in her space,
And take her place,
So she can be righteous
And absolute again.

As I begin to fathom,
The scar she barred
Upon my soul,
I have a hole.
I am not whole.
This is why I am so cold.
I scolded life,
I cursed life,
In hopes of it not to be her life.
To watch her one day be a wife,
And see her fight
With all her might,
To be
The free in freedom;
The happy in happiness;
The sun in a sunflower.

She was my rock,
And did not mock,
The sock I wore to camouflage my scars.
O, the things I would do just to be in her shoes.
To gallop through the boroughs of life,
And climb the mountains to see the light;

To watch the sun set and rise again.
To be in her voice of reason
And hear her speak this season.

O, yes!
To be in her battle
And be her aid to fight the treason,
To cease the rejection cast upon her beliefs;
To be at ease in her pain and suffering.
I beseech the One who removed her from this Earth,
And left me here to decay in her shadow.

I am standing in her shadow,
Sobbing in her shadow,

I am hiding in her shadow,
To abide by her shadow;
To gain prosperity
And longevity
To walk forever in her shadow.

I woke up at 4:30 AM this morning in tears. My heart was weak from thinking of her once again. I wrote this poem in memory of my best friend, Emily, who stood up for mental illness awareness. She helped me during my teenage and early adult years with my self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and depression.  I am so blessed and thankful to call her my friend. I supported her and listened to her rants about life and her illness as well. She will always and forever have a special place in my heart. She is the reason I decided to speak out about my mental illness. I’ve always wanted to raise mental illness awareness, but just did not know how, when, and where. I wish she was here to see this wonderful blog I created to share my story  and the movement I am about to begin this Fall.